On Monday, May 27, I went on Instagram Live & had a little chat about how we are our mothers' mirrors. I know that talking about our mothers is not always the easiest conversation, but I figured that I would share the bullet points covered with this community, hold space, and allow people to converse here as well. You can comment with your answers, questions, thoughts, and concerns.
• I opened up the Live session asking, "What traits do you share with your mother?" Often times, people automatically think of the "negative" traits that are shared with their mothers are that are reflected from their mothers. I invite you to also examine "positive", more favorable traits that are shared.
• This was asked because as you, hopefully know, 50% of our DNA comes from our mothers. We often share personality traits, temperaments, and habits, not just physical gene expressions.
•Definition of EPIGENETICS: "Above genetics – the study of how the environment controls gene activity. " – Dr. Joe Dispenza OR "Study of changes in organisms caused by modification of gene expression rather than alteration of genetic code itself." OR "Epigenetics, can also be called transgenerational effects, are inherited expression states."
Essentially, what (in a person's environment) activates a particular gene sequence to be activated or switched on.
• Personality traits "THE BIG FIVE" (via NIH website)
1. Openness to experience - imagination and intellectual curiosity
2. Conscientiousness - carefulness and organizational ability
3. Extraversion - positive emotions (gregariousness and tendency to seek out stimulation)
4. Agreeableness - person's level of cooperativeness and compassion
5. Neuroticism - negative emotions such as anxiety and depression, which is commonly described as emotional instability.
All of these personality traits can be inherited or handed down from a parent.
• Often times, the things that we hate in our mothers shows up and manifests in us.
-Do your best to accept the parts of your mothers and try to see around that trait. (Why is she stubborn, angry, detached, or feel the need to assert her authority)
-Do your best to love and accept your mother for who she is and where she is because when you do, you can FULLY love yourself. If you hate a part of your mother, you hate a part of yourself because she is literally in you. She is a part of you.
• What are some things/traits that you have said, "I will never do that/be like that/act like that." Have they subconsciously manifested in you?
• Definition of MIRROR: a reflective surface that reflects a clear image / to show a reflection of
• Definition of REFLECTION: the throwing back by a body or surface of light, heat, or sound without absorbing it.
return of light or sound waves from a surface
• I feel as we go deeper than our mothers our depths often scare her, it might trigger her, cause her to feel shame/guilt, or cause her to feel like her experiences and feelings are invalidated. Maybe your mother does not trust you because she doesn't feel like she knows you (it may be tru the other way around as well). Maybe your mother's life experiences have made it hard to trust people, especially the ones she feels like she doesn't know.